Juice Fast Failure

I have no wish to fail all the time. I know people say failing is good and that we should learn from failing…but it doesn’t feel like that!

I kind of feel like being obese in the first place is already failing in a really public and obvious way and other people always reinforce that feeling for me with being treated like I’m invisible.

So far, yesterday, what I was hoping was going to be day 1 of the total juice fast, didn’t quite make it, I ended up eating a small dinner and no snack and the rest juice. Still, it was the most juice so far and the least food…it really is mental (though I was physically hungry too in this case).

Here is the thing, if you’re addicted to food in an unhealthy way (like I am) then even if you are juicing and getting energy and calories that way, you aren’t using it to stuff whatever emotion or handle whatever situation like you were before starting only juice. If it was all about hunger, then that would be one thing, but it is about hunger + dealing with my emotional crap and that part sucks.

Unlike both men in the movie Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead…I can’t take a vacation from my life and go somewhere just to fast and juice. I have to do things that are at best annoying and at worst sabotaging like cook dinner for the family and then still get stuck putting it all away for leftovers and doing the dishes too.

So today, day 2 of attempt at total juice fast…fail again. I still had lots of juice and tried new juices…including a new green juice that has mint and tastes like sweet mint tea…which would have been great had I been looking for that taste 🙂 But today I also had soda AND fries 😦 Both worthless foods.

…Now, I can look back and realize I should have just listened to the whining and taken the kids home where there are no temptations for me, but I gave in and I didn’t still there with nothing while they ate…or go through a drive through and get me nothing or something other than what I did.

You know, I did get home and went right back to my juices. I had a small dinner and I guess make a better plan for tomorrow.